Jar of Tears: Finding Joy Through Disability

Welcome Weary Soul.


Today I want invite you to take a journey with me.  One that I desperately need to take.  One I've been praying about for many years as a mother of a child with life-long disability.  This journey is for those who are physically or spiritually broken, often hopeless, and in desperate need of a constant beacon of joy in their life as they walk this unique path of parenting.


In Psalm 56:8 it says of our Creator God,

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.

Today's truth is that God knows your joys and sorrows. As I dig through scripture to understand God's purpose in suffering, this blog will serve as my virtual jar of tears.  There is something beautiful about this portrait of a God collecting and cherishing the pain of His creation.  What a personal and precious act .... visualizing the way He comprehends every ounce of our doubt, pain, uncertainty, anger and joy?!

I am about to begin an in depth Biblical study on the ways God purposes my/your child's disability for something beautiful...

....for hope
....for joy
....for His glory
....and for my/your good!

I know those statement can be painfully hard to hear. You may be rolling your eyes at me already.  I know this because sometimes I don't believe them.  Why would God make my child seemingly imperfect?  Why would he allow her to suffer? Why doesn't He heal her?  What purpose could disability serve for good in my life as a parent?  Why at times do I lose heart and feel angry at God?

If you promise to open your heart with me,  I plan to thoroughly prove to you that God knows your pain, He feels it, He sees it, and He purposes it for something great.  If you don't believe me, I understand and know that I am already praying for your heart.  That as I work through God's promises to you and me, that you would see Him in a very real way, as the divine Creator of your disabled child who loves them even more than you! Now, if you are reading this and do not have a disabled child and are fighting for joy generally, these truths are for you too!

My plan is to compile my joyful and painful "tears" then share Biblical truths about each of them to help keep the beacon of joy lit in my heart (topics like depression, loss, anger, frustration, pride, hopelessness, bitterness ect). Once my study has been prayerfully and sufficiently compiled,  I pray that God allows me to put this together in a book or study of sorts, which can be shared with other families like mine.

The day my daughter was diagnosed with autism was painful (read more by clicking the link).  I searched everywhere for a compilation of scriptures and truths that were just for me (a parent of a child with a disability), and my search came up lacking.  So today I am putting one together.  I hope that one day, a mother like myself can be blessed by this compilation of scriptural truths about disability and finding joy in God.


Side Note:
I know many of you followed my family when we shared our life on www.navychaplainastory.blogspot.com.  That blog was beyond therapeutic for me personally as I struggled through life during deployments and an autism diagnosis.  Please feel free to recount that journey by visiting the blog and learn more about our family! I decided to take a break from the family blog, finish my Masters in Special Eduction, and now to start fresh on this newly focused journey!